Thursday, August 4, 2011

$hit that only happens to me...

I haven't blogged since I turned thirty... The big 3-0... And yet today was so blogworthy, I couldn't resist.

I had an early morning flight to San Diego from Washington. The cab picked me up on time. We cruised down Rock Creek Parkway and were turning onto the 66 ramp when a car didn't stop on a red light and turned into our car.

We were sideswiped.

Fortunately, I was wearing a seatbelt and I always leave early for the airport. I was also thankful I wasn't injured.

I checked in at the airport and realized I had my least favorite seat... Last row, aisle, by the bathroom. This meant that on my five hour flight, not only would it smell terrible, but people would constantly be hovering over me.

In hindsight this would have been a blessing.

I joked with the flight attendant about this as I sat down and waited for the people next to me.

Let me back up a few months and tell you about another flight from California. I was in the back row, middle seat (yuck). If that wasn't bad enough a couple sat on other side of me... With a dog.

This would have been ok if the animal was under the seat... But they git it certified as a service dog because they fly so frequently they wanted it to be able to sit in their laps. That damn dog spent the flight crawling over me moving from one owner to another.

I wish this flight were that comfortable. I yearn for the doggie flight.

No sooner than I told the flight attendant that I was sitting in my least favorite seat, my seat mates showed up. I am a pretty tolerant flyer.... BUT... the two largest women I have ever seen come walking down the aisle.

They were so large that I assumed they had a whole row to themselves (even then I was concerned if they would fit). But no... they were sitting next to me.

As they climbed into their seats, the flight attendant gave me a sympathetic look. This was going to be rough.

First of all... The arm rest would not go down.

Then... They fell asleep... And sprawled even more onto my chair. I was half way into the aisle.

When it couldn't get any worse... He one next to me started having sleep spasms. I think I have a bruise on my stomach from it. Ouch.

I am leaning into the aisle, back sire from the awkward position not the accident. My arm is resting in my head. I can't lower my tray able and work because her belly is invading my space so much. Then the snowing begins.

She wakes up and decides she needs a snack (shocker) and in the fit... Manages to spill my ginger ale all over my pants. Now I am wet, sticky, ack hurts, arm asleep, bruise on my stomach and there are over three hours left in my flight.

I am writing this blog from the galley. The flight attendants took sympathy on me. I wonder... Shouldn't I at least get a voucher or something for this. I tried to take a picture, but that would have been rude.

If I don't survive the flight... You'll know that I've been swallowed up by travel hell.

But seriously... Couldn't the cab have been the worst thing that happened?

I suppose it is just part of my charm... :-/

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