Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Excuse me, Mr. Backpack

Dear Mr. Backpack,

I appreciate that you're concerned about your health and do not want to strain your back by carrying whatever it is that you carry around in a more inconspicuous bag.  It makes sense... when you're in college.  Now, it is time to graduate to a big boy bag or learn to follow a few simple rules.

Normally, I wouldn't care what you carry around.  It is your back. It is your crap. BUT, I would just like to remind you that when you carry a backpack, your backside is extended by about one foot. I am sorry sir, but I think that you too often forget this.  Well, let me remind you about a few simple rules for carrying a backpack (for the record, everyone is thinking that you should follow these rules, yet I am the only one bold enough to tell you so. Please do yourself a favor and abide by properly):
  1. When on the metro, AHEM, do not keep turning around.  Yes, you are hitting the person behind you. ME!  I do not appreciate it.  
  2. When on the metro and it is crowded, kindly remove your backpack and place it between your feet.  You are taking up two spaces AND you are whacking people left and right.
  3. If you don't want to put your precious backpack on the floor, then please swing it around (CAREFULLY!) to your front.  This way you can protect it (and more importantly, don't inadvertently hit others).
  4. Reevaluate your desire to carry a backpack.
Backpacks are becoming the new nuisance on the metro... almost as annoying as those people wheeling their briefcases around (yes ma'am... that was my foot you just rolled over).  While backpacks don't cut me off while walking (did you really have to cut over in front of me wheeling your luggage for five days of hard work in the office?), the have the potential to injure and harm those around them.  (I kind of feel like I should take a poll now... which is more evil on the metro, backpacks or roller bags???).

Please be considerate of your fellow metro riders, for if not, we will revolt one day... one day soon.

4 comments:

CW said...

As a person who has spent the majority of my life taking public transportation, I empathize. As a kid, I took the subway to and from school every day, and at a young age, I learned to take my backpack off and put it on the ground between your legs.

It drives me crazy that grown-a** adults on the Metro haven't learned that. I think the people that run the system should make a PSA about it.

telisa said...

i sympathize as well. because i often bring my gym clothes and breakfast and lunch to work i usually have to bring a big bag at least once a week. BUT i'm smart enough to take said backpack off and put it between my feet. i hate the people that take up so much space on a crowded train. but i hate those rolling briefcases even more. i can understand how someone with a big suitcase needs wheels but really unless you're elderly or injured just carry the bag!

and the PSA should also include rules about pole leaning!

Stephanie said...

I have a hard and fast rule that if you can't pick it up and carry it, you've got no damn business dragging it back and forth to work. So, yeah, I hate those stupid roller bags.

The backpacks make me a little crazy. I'm not above just pushing the person off me - which tends to get their attention and shame them all at once. The only time a backpack has completely enraged me is when I was sitting and the person was standing in the aisle completely oblivious to the fact that their backpack was smacking me in the head. But, you know, that happens with other oblivious people carrying ginormous bags too.

B and T Crowd said...

I bring my backpack on the Metro everyday and always put it on the ground. Instead of pushing someone's backpack out of the way, you could always start removing items in exchange for the pain and suffering caused by a swinging backpack into your head.