Monday, January 24, 2011

Dear Creepsters

Dear Creepsters,

You know who you are.  You are the guy at the bar who stares at women for no particular reason (well, I suppose you have a reason, but it isn't a good one). Sometimes you are silent and just stare (creepy) or you try to get all up in my face (creepy). Let me give you a few words of advice for the future.

If a woman says she is watching the sports game... don't
  1. Ask which game.
  2. Stand in front of her face so she cannot see the game.
  3. Keep talking to her when she does not respond (because I am watching the game).
  4. Stand in front of her and stare at her boobs (yes I am a woman and I have boobs.  It is basic biology, get over it).
These are never good maneuvers.  Sometimes girls really like watching sports (at least the interesting ones do). 

If you try to talk to a woman, you know she isn't interested when...
  1. She keeps backing away from you until there is no where to go and is pinned.
  2. She says she is busy for three weeks, and keeps repeating it.
  3. Her friend reiterates that she is actually busy (yes I really am blowing you off).
  4. You sit on the bar stool next to her, she gets up (to run away), and makes a friend sit in her stool just to get away from you.  
Yes, all of this actually happened to me this weekend and I am still recovering.  So creepsters, please read and follow the guidelines I have outlined above.  It will make everyone's time much more enjoyable.


P.S. - At least I try to be nice, I have a friend who bites guys when they go in for an unwanted kiss.  I'm just saying, you think I might be mean, but it could be worse.

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