Thursday, July 8, 2010

Why Snowmageddon was better than Sweatmageddon... a detailed analysis

Let me start by saying that this isn't a random observation and I'm not cranky because it is hot and humid (ok maybe I'm a little cranky, but within the acceptable margin of error).  I truly feel that Snowmageddon was and is better than Sweatmageddon.  To prove this point to you (and as inspired by Telisa), I present the following arguments:

  1. No one went to work during Snowmageddon because it was unsafe. We worked at home (or some not at all).  During Sweatmageddon... everyone goes to work and you're rubbing up against people on the metro and everyone smells.  Winner - Snowmageddon
  2. Rockne had a hard time going to the bathroom during Snowmageddon (because the snow was over his back) but he enjoyed being outside.  During Sweatmageddon, Rockne gave me the finger for merely suggesting that we go outside for a walk.  He is tired after a block.  Winner - Snowmageddon
  3. I hosted a pub crawl during Snowmageddon and people came (although one guy did give me hives... but that is a completely different story).  It is too hot to drink (well... almost too hot to drink) during Sweatmageddon. Winner - Snowmageddon
  4. There were numerous outdoor activities during Snowmageddon... think the snowball fights, sledding, etc.  During Sweatmageddon, all we have are tourists passing out. Winner - Snowmageddon
  5. That reminds me of another item. Tourists.  During Snowmageddon all of the tourists hibernated.  During Sweatmageddon, they are clogging up the metro and rubbing against me while all sweaty.  Winner - Snowmageddon
  6. So you don't think that I am too biased, Sweatmageddon does have a few legs up over Snowmageddon.  During Snowmageddon there was no food in the grocery stores (but I stocked up before because I'm from Indiana and know the drill, my fireplace was stuffed with booze and the bars were still open).  During Sweatmageddon, the grocery store has food (even the Soviet Safeway). Winner - Sweatmageddon (but only because the other items still hold true).
  7. During Snowmageddon you could be ironic and drink margaritas at a Mexican restaurant while it was snowing.  During Sweatmageddon it is too freaking hot to drink White Russians (the milk curdles before it hits your mouth). Winner - Snowmageddon
  8. Boredom ensues in any extreme weather situation, but you're not stranded during Sweatmageddon as you were during Snowmageddon (at least the people in the 'burbs).  As a result, I am anticipating the Blizzard Baby phenomenon will not be a Sweat Baby phenomenon.  Winner - Sweatmageddon
  9. There were two big sporting events during both.  During Snowmageddon the Colts lost the Superbowl (yes I'm a Colts fan).  During Sweatmageddon, the World Cup was on.  Winner - Sweatmageddon (but this one was tough because I love the Super Bowl, I made jambalaya, and I love football, but the World Cup is fun to experience once every four years and despite the US being eliminated, I enjoy watching the crazy fans in the streets... close call, but Sweatmageddon by a hair). 
  10. Lastly, we have to examine clothes.  I am from the midwest. I went to Notre Dame.  I am prepared for cold weather.  During Snowmageddon it is always possible to put more clothes on.  During Sweatmageddon, there is a limit to what you can take off without being arrested. Winner - Snowmageddon
I am curious what your evaluation is on the issue of Snowmageddon vs. Sweatmageddon.  Although... I'm pretty sure that my thorough analysis cannot be proved wrong.


telisa said...

agreed 100% I'll take 5 feet of snow and mild winter temps over the sweltering heat of this week...but then again maybe I'm just a wuss when it comes to "southern" summers. i suppose i should take back my comments about DC people being winter wusses huh? nah

Anonymous said...

All very valid points and I would be inclined to buy your argument, except for one overruling factor (for me):
I cannot stand to be cold.

I'd take being uncomfortably hot over miserably cold any day.

lauxwriter said...

I must say that, hands down, I prefer fall and winter to summer. I hate summer, always hated it. My worst enemies, besides my mind going numb from heat when I walk out any door, are mosquitoes. (Creepy music in background) I think the little @#$%^&* hover by the door with their napkins around their icky little necks saying - "She's out! Snack Time!" No mosquitoes during winter. I'm with Amy on the winter vs. summer clothes thing.