Indy 500

In homage to my friends back in Indy, I wanted to share some of the great stories from the 500 in the form of lessons learned. Some of these are from me, some are from others, but all are truly valuable in life.

1. Lesson Learned: I have played golf all my life, but the one time that the group in front of me has two attactive female college golfers wearing black t-shirts that say on the back "we are wet and juicy" and have the silhoutte of a stripper on them will be when I am in my 30's and playing with my girlfriend's dad and brother." - Note when I discussed this with the girlfriend, she said... I wondered why it took them from 11:30 until after 5 to complete a round of golf!


2. Lesson Learned: Don't pass out at Andy's tailgater (this is my brother) or you will have garbage strategically placed all over your body. Who was that guy?" Note: my brother was charging people to take this guy's picture and fund his tailgate. To that I say... brillant!


3. Lesson Learned: Companies that host brunch tailgaters at the Indy 500 should not feature as the key point of their directions the fact that "they're the ones with the checkered flag". Note: this also applies to Notre Dame games when someone says, "We're the one with the Irish flag"


4. Lesson Learned: Indianapolis drinkers are far greater than Beltway drinkers. Note: I was almost embarassed to have to take home beer from the lake. My Indy friends would never let that happen. I know this because they've been known to single-handedly (maybe four-handedly) polish off a keg of beer on a Sunday so that it would not go to waste. Can you help teach the beltway crew how to drink??? Maybe our skills come from the fact that there isn't much else to do in the Midwest but drink... now that is something to ponder.


5. Lesson Learned: Pretend you're rooting for someone else in the 500, otherwise they'll be knocked out at turn 1 on lap 1 (oh Marco) ... or worse yet... randomly hit the wall, hurt himself, and not finish (for the second time in two years) despite being one of the biggest lap leaders in 500. Come'on TK... I'm pulling for you. But then there is a girl (who... for the record should have punched Ryan Briscoe last year) who I am pulling for. Can anyone tell that I'm an Andretti-Green Racing fan?

I was sad to miss the festivities in person, but I'll be their next year. I can only stay around so long. So to my friends, I say "Practice your flip cup techniques because we're all playing".