Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Valid Reasons for Breakups

I have not had a lot of sleep lately. This leads my mind to wonder and do a lot of thinking about the what ifs.

In this case, I wanted to share a few thoughts about dating, more specifically, valid reasons to end a relationship (at least on my end).

Here are my top ten (not in any order except for #1):

10- Uber Conservative - I am not talking about the run of the mill Conservative lot, I am actually fairly moderate myself, but I am talking about group of people who are intolerant of others, worship Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh, and don't think "reasonable" is a real word in the English language. Not to be exclusionary... my objections also apply to the far left as well. I am a positive person and negative attacks on people just aren't attractive.

9- Bottled Water - when in a restaurant, do you really need to pay an extra $8 for some pretentious bottled water? I grew up in Indiana. Do you know what we had there? Well water. Now that is delicious. Save a few bucks and if you're really concerned, give the money to a homeless man on the corner.

8- Virginia- while this in and of itself is not a deal breaker, I keep a hectic schedule and the river is a barrier. I have made it work, but why would i want to hang out in traffic when i can just walk home and go to one of the hundreds of bars and restaurants by me.

7- Midwest - if you make fun of me because i am a from the Midwest... Or you think that Pittsburgh represents the Midwest. I am from Indiana and proud of it. Why would you hate on it? We grow food for you to eat. We are polite to one another. We say good morning and people say it back. We let people merge. We have nature around us. We know what life looks like outside of the I-95 corridor bubble. Oh... It is a hell of a lot cheaper.

6- Housewife - Ever thinking that you could convert me into being a Housewife. Wow... Can't say much more here because i would get angry

5- March Maddness - if you judge me for wanting to spend half of Marc watching conference tournaments and March Maddness then you can't appreciate where I came from... Indiana, basketball... My parents made me watch every single basketball game as a kid. Even if you don't judge me, i would anticipate that you'll at least join me for some of the games, if this isn't possible then... Well... You know.

4- Fancy Food - by many standards, I am a foodie. But if you can't bear the thought of eating a burger or food from a truck or heaven forbid... Cheap pizza, then all i have to say is really? Then i judge.

3- Cats - there are dog people and cat people. I am a dog person. I like being active and going on adventures. Cats are boring (sorry).

2- St. Patricks - if you think that glorious St. Patty's isn't a real holiday.... Well then we have issues. I am IRISH and enjoy beer. Even if it isn't a real holiday... What isn't to like. This too may actually be a deal breaker.

AND THE #1 Reason.....

1- Football - I am sorry, but not knowing the difference between a tight end and a wide receiver is a deal breaker for me. Man up!

I am not saying that I have used these reasons (or a combination thereof) to end a relationship... But it could have happened.


CW said...

DC Elitists... pfft. DC isn't even a real city. :-p

telisa said...

haha i love this and whole heartedly agree with #10,9,7,6, 4, and 2!

CW said...

(Sorry, just REAL defensive of my adopted Commonwealth... For the record, agree that 10, 6, 5, 4, and 1 should be deal breakers... Fair.)