Sideburns... A good idea?

Rosey says that sideburns are always a good idea, I think that I beg to differ. I was on the metro and saw this really cute guy... well cute from the back. But then he turned around (think a slow dramatic turn) and I was horrified! He had sideburns, and I'm not talking about small sideburns, I'm talking about some serious Elvis sideburns. This guy had potential, he was professional, listening to his ipod, tall... but then those sideburns, what a turnoff.

So then I started looking around and noticing how guys were styling their sideburns. I am putting the sideburns into 3 categories:

1. Non-Existant, these were mostly guys that I would classify as Republicans because they often had poofy Donald Trump hair that they probably had to use a hairdryer and mouse to style. They seemed generally uptight and would probably wear kahki's and a blue shirt (tucked in of course) with loafers out to dinner if you said it was casual. Most of these men were in their 40's to 50's with a few twenty-somethings waiting to be the next Rush Limbaugh.


2. The Incher - Now this was the most prevelant amongst the 30's and 20's crowd. The type of guy with the incher typically wears his hair in the standard guy cut... short on the sides a little longer on top. THESE ARE THE ACCEPTABLE SIDE BURNS.


3. The Overcompensater - These guys were balding on top and in effort to distract from the lack of hair on top, they decided to grow more on their faces. I have one comment for these men... "Please please please don't overcompensate for not having hair on your head by growing hair in other places... sideburns... back... chest... all unacceptable." I think that the only person where the "Overcompensater" is ok is Chris Daughtry... but that is different story.

Ladies, I don't know about you, but I hardly ever notice sideburns but now I'm obcessed.