Kicked Out of My Own Bed

It’s Friday night and I have some visitors in town (Mary Ann and Stephen). Unfortunately our journey did not start together, but it sure ended that way. I went to dinner with a friend and met up with Mary Ann and Stephen later that night at my favorite place - Buffalo Billiards.





As usual, Mary Ann was kicking my ass. I was exhausted from my week so I wanted to go home. Stephen kept protesting… “I’m not going home before midnight” (NOTE: it was 11:55). So he had another whiskey… or three. I meanwhile walked home and passed out in bed from exhaustion.



At 3:30 I wake up (because I never sleep thru the night) and BAM! There is Stephen in my bed. What a suprise! I see the lights on downstairs so I investigate and I see Mary Ann sleeping on the couch and Rockne doing waht he does best - chewing on a bone. So I turn off the lights and tell Rockne that I’m going to go clear off the day bed so that Stephen has a place to sleep. (What I didn’t know was that Mary Ann was only pretending to sleep and she heard every word).


So I went upstairs, cleared off the daybed and WOOSH. Mary Ann swoops in, takes off her pants and jumps into the day bed. AWESOME! Now what do I so with Stephen. Since I’m wide awake, I want to turn on MY tv.


Stephen is laying on the remote so I try to get him to move. He makes mocking noises and the says “REMOTE THIS” followed by a large wet FART! Mary Ann, not to be shown up, retaliates. This is how I was gassed out of my own bed.


I ended up sleeping on the couch and MA and Stephen ended up going me downstairs around 11 the next morning…. I guess I had a comfy bed. What a life!